By Action not by words

 Observational skills develop in person at initial stages. A child closely observes parental actions, and tries to follow no matter what they utter or speak. It is called observational learning or modeling. Morality has been immensely impacted by family interaction, peer group and societal rules.  Furthermore, emotional experiences, cognitive growth and neurodevelopment also crystalize in the moral compass of a child.  Children at early-stage imprint daily activities of parents in their brain along with verbal speeches.

Kids or grownups sometimes react to typical situations in weird or contradictory which may not be acceptable to society or in the workplace. The toxic background of such behavior is associated with experiencing intense conflict between parents or societal members even though they are good moral lessons. A lively example of negative reaction of IT professionals in soft ground can really annoy us. In a tier one builder colony, it is expected that society is well cultured and respects each other. It was observed while walking that one IT manager suddenly turned aggressive when there was some dispute in the kids playground and shouted to another calm professional in a rude manner “you need to teach the child how to play, my son did not make mistake” . That calm professional didn’t react and left the place quietly which showed his parental moral act that was learned during childhood.

Parents are moral dwellers of their children. They train them to develop moral dignity and explain family rules to become highly civilized in society. Kindness to others is the key to moral growth in their training session. In real life scenarios, children imitate their interaction and behavior of their parents towards others. If the father yells at subordinates, they learn negative emotional responses quickly and reproduce in social situations. Parents always expect moral conduct from their children such as being honest, always speaking the truth and never hiding anything. At the same time, they forget their unnoticed dishonest actions such as lying-in public place to gain advantage. Such strong wrongdoing is internalized by children as compared to verbal lecture. Children are super sensitive to emotional and behavioral characters. They constantly observe how parents manage situations, backbiting, handling frustration or tricking people and consider it as a standard and approved conduct.

Parent’s noble actions leave a remarkable impact on the psyche of children. Even in the corrupt and stone hearted society, such kids reveal empathy and honesty to what they learnt from their role model, the parents such as promptly attending the people in critical condition, sensing the danger and raising their hands to support others. Basically, moral lessons are inhaled by actions and verbal teaching. Children are experimental pupils. Since infancy, they observe how elders of a family navigate the world.

Observational learning may be extremely detrimental when siblings adopt defective actions of parents and in future, they have to face challenging situations.  Faulty actions of parents in daily life may degrade the lifestyle and thought processes of children in later stages. Manipulating tactics of father learnt by siblings do not work in all situations. Such behaviors emphasize a trap of learned behavior. Tricks of flawed behavior that parents use in their era may not be applicable in their child’s learning phases. Such tactics may blowback when applying to a different world. In the real scenario, the son learned manipulation tactics by watching his father and was treated as a common, and strong tool in his life to defeat others or a way of shortcut to get desired things. In later stages, he had to pay a heavy price in terms of destabilizing his daughter’s married life.

Professionals or senior managers in work settings also use gaslighting techniques for personal gain. Subordinates or other employees inherit deceitful actions to prosper while sacrificing morals. It can be highlighted through some corporate dealings where senior professionals or project heads make fake promises about delivery of products to clients or involve bribes in dealing with business. Such behaviors are silently noticed by other employees and become opportunists whenever occasion arises.

Sometimes When verbal morals are not aligned with accrual actions and generate cognitive disagreement among people. In such a state, people experience mental disquiet which pushes them to often develop problematic behavioral habits. The moral traditions and actions of seniors have a deep impact on the behavior and actions of individuals within their families and across their occupational lives. Through observational learning and moral instructions, individuals crystalize core values, coping mechanisms, and interpersonal habits to tackle situations.

Moral values are the reflection of persistent actions of parents in diverse situations. High level of moral values solidifies when parents are empathetic, show kindness to others and honest in their approach. It creates a secure environment among children. The moral habits shaped by viewing parents are the keystone to develop ethical standards for future behavior. Though parents are the strong pillar in shaping moral dogmas to lead life, sometimes, a child's own thoughts greatly impact moral crystallization. Ethical standards are not learnt passively from parents or educators, it is actively formed by the child's own mental power. Additionally, children also inherit principles or etiquettes from social figures to navigate their life.

 Closing thoughts:

Verbal speeches and decent principles are not true moral teachings.  Children gain insights and their morality is solidified through concrete good actions from parents, elders and social figures.  Parents' speech of doing right or wrong do not leave a great impact on a child's innocent mind and change their cognitive processes. When they watch the behavior and tactics of parents to manage intricate situations or relieve stress, it imprints in their mental canvas and stays throughout their life.  In this world, anyone may deliver an excellent lecture on moral acts, values but it does not change the mental configuration of a person whether in family or workplace. Parent’s noble deeds train children to follow a moral path, develop internal empathy and gain moral strength over time. Parent’s  wise acts in typical situations overpower spoken words in teaching morality. Parents have their typical actions but they don't want their child to adopt such practices in their life.

Important note: Above article is based on the inner views of the writer. Any resemblance is just a coincidence. Writer is not responsible for any disagreement.